From the breast clinic today…

The nurse was totally on top of it yesterday, mailing me twice, confirming she was in a meeting today until 2pm and would check her mails after that and get back to me. I sent a gentle reminder (someone recently told me about a typo a colleague had made in a mail sent to a large group of people at work, subject was ‘Genital Reminder’) to her around 3.45pm but nothing.

And I am delighted. I can get back to my life today, I can ignore the horrible bruise on my left breast from the biopsy, I can hope that perhaps it was all a bad dream. And I can start to let some hope in that, just maybe, my gut feeling that it is cancer, is in fact wrong.

Because nothing is every simple in my head, I then take the fact I am so happy to have not heard as a signal that I do have cancer….because normally my impatience would completely override anything else and I would have been hounding someone, anyone to get news. So of course I am not because it will be bad news…and let me enjoy this reprieve.

Today on the bus I thought that a cancer diagnosis was a reason to make sure you thoroughly enjoyed life. Surely there can be fewer better reasons to celebrate you are alive than the threat of death.