Which I think came across as a little martyr-like and self piteous in some parts. Fuck that.

I did not cry in the shower. I am not ‘soldiering on’ – I am genuinely tough and resilient, I don’t need to pretend to be because I honestly am. I am capable of asking for what I want and need – from myself and others. And I am capable of standing on my own two feet – leaning when I need to, standing tall when I need to.

And I am going out to have fun.

And I have started to talk to my ‘suspicious’ lump.

And everything I do from now on, I will attempt to do from love and trust – not reaction and fear. Attempt being the operative word.