My doc called me back today, to say that the injectable radiation stuff hadn’t been delivered by the army. Of course it hadn’t.

I swear you couldn’t make it up.

So – tomorrow I try again in the morning (the Islamic conversion plot becoming more believable since this will be day 2 of semi fasting) and if not, I will go to his office at 11am and get a CT and MRI there. I like Dr ISIS.

Actually had a really good day today – am still pretty shattered a lot – but hey, funny that. The anxiety is coming back a bit now but its OK.

Now I really want to have the tests – I have been dreading it but now its time to know. Funny, the same thing happened with confirming the breast cancer – I didn’t want the results and then was emotionally ready. I feel like that again about the tests – except this time I am choosing for now to believe that it hasn’t spread, not just based on hope, but also the facts line up to make a good case. And the fear takes grip as I write that…

Stay with me tomorrow. And when I get the all clear I can move on with researching treatments and all the rest for breast cancer . Step by step.