Had a super productive morning – getting a plan B & C in place. And trying to remind myself I am not breast cancer with Sonia, I’m ‘just’ Sonia 😉

I have booked a private appointment for next week with a surgeon, I have been accepted at the Royal Marsden at least, I still have Jordan as my plan C..

However, I seem to deal with a series of bitches at the Royal Marsden – apart from the woman the man found who has been super helpful – and in fact pushed this all through, as in getting me referred to the surgeon who I believe is exactly the right person I need to see. Just that getting to see her seems to be a nightmare. Her PA today was truly horrible. And I can’t cope with that – I sobbed afterwards…again. Its not just about me, but rather I truly do not understand how someone working for a cancer hospital can think its appropriate to be anything less that warm and helpful….This is the second person regarding appointments in the Royal Marsden who has been horrible. I revert to child mode – I am obviously super vulnerable right now and this doesn’t work for me. The upshot is that it could be 2 weeks until I get an appointment…thats just the appointment to see a surgeon….

This is not what healing is about. Being hurt is in fact the opposite of what healing should be. And I am sick of crying because some idiot secretary has hurt me…And also sick of crying with the man…Here now, having been upbeat most of the day and having fun, apart from after super bitch, and now tearful again.

And I am clearly moaning. Thank you my friends for reading this. And for being here for me – honestly, words cannot express how much that means to me. And I know I will bounce back up again – I have had lots of laughs today and will have more…