I am feeling good today. I am not sure if its:  denial, insanity, actually having cancer, The Man (thank you Margaret for reminding me I should at least put him in capital letters), getting some rest, ignoring fucking hospitals, some other disease that is affecting my brain, the weather…..or of course all of the above. Or none of them 😉

Point is, I have a lot of moments of genuine happiness and joy today. Which is pretty fucking amazing at anytime :). And its funny – I feel like I should get back to being miserable – that feeling the joy and lightness is somehow not real – I should be wading in the darkness and misery because I have cancer. Yes, I know that’s bollocks, but interesting how it is there….

I do need to figure some things out, but I also need to feel these feelings as these are the ones that will heal me. And its genuine joy – and yes, lots to do with The Man, well, the way I feel around him..