Yes, its all to do with The Man. He arrived Wednesday night and as per the title, I have been stupidly happy ever since. Consistently. I had a blip on Saturday, but going through it with him around made it so much less painful, not last as long, and reinforced the sense of being supported…

Yipppppeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! In case its not glaringly obvious, I am so incredibly happy – the countdown is on. 13 hours until he lands, likely delayed, so perhaps 14 hours. I will go the airport, despite him saying he may have to pretend he doesn’t know me if I sprint and throw myself at him at arrivals….

So here I am, arrived in Amman 2 weeks ago today….still waiting for The Man to arrive…NGO HR being the wonderfully (in) efficient machine it is means his arrival keeps getting delayed. Was meant to be tonight…crossing my fingers it will be Wednesday. Its destabilising me more than I care to admit – alongside realising…

I have learnt so far that steak is the cure-all, the Dead Sea brings me out in a whole host of different types of rashes, going to a Dead Sea resort doesn’t actually mean you have to go into the Dead Sea and that I really look so much better with a suntan. Look and…

Just to say thank you to all of you for the responses to my last post. And to say that I am now pretty much above water again…its like a void I sink into, hasn’t happened that badly or for that long for a long time…but I am almost all the way out of it…

And back to the rollercoaster. I’m splashing around, but still only feel like my face is actually out of the water – you know that image of all of your body in water and just your face visible on the surface? Its like that today. I had a long distance argument of sorts with The…

Too late – said it. Claire, you told me that Nara said to you that she thought I was already better – and as usual with our weird and wonderful children I actually know what she meant. Of course, there is the possibility that I am in rampant denial. Wouldn’t be the first time… The…

I wonder are the two connected….but I realised last night that I haven’t cried for days…another first is my ‘life since I found out I have cancer’. Then of course I started worrying that I hadn’t cried – perhaps I am suppression emotions, that’s not good for me etc etc – then I realised I…

Another first – feeling like I am on top of things –  a semblance of control across more than just one area of my life and this is the first time, literally, that I have felt this since the rollercoaster started. Bloody hell, does it feel good! To date, I have managed it with one…

Yes, back to number 1. Which is all about asking for what I need. And then being willing to accept it. I get the feeling I will need to keep practising this one…The Man doesn’t read this blog – not because he is illiterate I hasten to add, but rather because I haven’t sent him…

I truly love laughing. My wonderful, gorgeous, intuitive, high maintenance son told me just before he went to Ireland that he had missed my laugh – and I so got it. I laugh from my gut and my heart and no matter what, I laugh. I am running a 2 day workshop in Amman, as…

Now there’s a first…..well, since 30th June anyway. I do try to not compartmentalise things into ‘before I found out I had cancer’ and ‘since I found out’ but it’s quite difficult to avoid. I have a picture on my phone of me and Aissa dancing at Pride in London in June – I LOVE…