Feel like I should be – New Year’s Eve and all that. Come up with something meaningful, perhaps even vaguely poignant or at the very least funny.  Or else I’ll just waffle a little. I’ve struggled quite a lot when I have seen pictures or remembered how happy I was in the months before I…

I wonder is that a side effect specific to the 2nd dose of Taxol…? If so, the next 10 will be interesting – who knows where I may end up at that point!?! It was fine today – I had lovely company, I  slept for pretty much the whole actual chemo (yes, I was a…

Time to switch the messaging. I have been thinking a lot about positive manifestations and messaging – for myself as opposed to globally…. And finally this fits.  No more ‘I have cancer’. I needed that up until now to land it – to accept I had cancer, to absorb the 101 different impacts of having…

Doesn’t really have a ring to it….though phonetically it works (is that the right word?!?) Actually having a good day – 2.30pm, not dressed, lots of coffee, huge fry up brunch….very chilled…except I forgot my anti viral tablets in London so have to go and get them. Much as I really don’t want to, I…

Or think, or say, a lot of the time these days. Random thoughts that float around my mind all together, mostly in a jumble and at the same time,  follow: I am recovering from cancer. What (very large) tattoo shall I get to celebrate when I am cancer free? What excuse will I use for…

I did want to flag early signs of breast cancer that I missed….details re boobs (well, one boob at least) so don’t read on if you don’t want to think about tits… Hard not to feel quite stupid for having missed them, to be honest. Yes, I know, gentle on myself and all that…but I…

And SO much better than the last chemo – so far at least. Was totally fine day of chemo and yesterday, tired today but again, nothing like before re side effects. There are some, but minor in comparison.  Day 3 is meant to be when some, if any, kick in. Tiredness, bone aching apparently. And…

8 hours in the Marsden today –  Ultrasound shows breast lump has shrunk significantly and as primary cancer that is very good. Lymph node not, but I’ve been battling a cold/flu so could well be due to that.  Prof Aloof was a serious asshole. 10 min consult and part of that was him on the…

Yesterday at the school – end of term play under my belt – in the classrooms saying goodbye to the teacher. I am taking to the kids after school Sonia cancer support team project manager – the wonderful Tanya. She on one side of the doorway, me the other so a pathway out of the…

Did any of you listen to The The – I keep having the track ‘This is the day, your life will surely change’ running around my head… Lots of those days really. Thank fuck actually. My life has always been eventful, to put it mildly, and I was thinking about those events, for lack of…

Currently about 15 mins away from landing back in London – so you can safely deduce I am well enough to fly now. Can’t wait to see my children, big and small – combined with a feeling I am getting used to each time I leave a country these days. Missing someone – this time…

So one hour after my last post, I came down with what I think is a flu or something. I had a portocath put in on Thursday (deliberately didn’t write about it in my last post as it was a really horrible experience and didn’t want to focus on it) and I think coincidentally came…