Time to switch the messaging. I have been thinking a lot about positive manifestations and messaging – for myself as opposed to globally…. And finally this fits. 

No more ‘I have cancer’. I needed that up until now to land it – to accept I had cancer, to absorb the 101 different impacts of having cancer, to feeling the seriousness of it so I wouldn’t turn my back on the treatment. And to not be scared of it by naming it out loud, in my head, in my heart, in public. To understand what cancer means to me. I cannot say I have found all the answers, but I have enough to move on. So now I will begin the recovery. 

EC chemo felt like a nuclear explosion. I believe that while it won’t be a walk in the park, Taxol will gently rid me of the fallout – chase the rogue cells that were shattered by EC away. Allow my body some time and space to find its balance again. At least it will allow me to start that process. I hope. So I am recovering. I no longer have cancer, I am watching it leave, dissolve, return to normal cell production, calm down. It’s easing out, much as it eased in. I have had cancer for a long time I believe – I may be wrong, but I feel that it was coming for the last couple of years and I have actively had it for at least a year. So the recovery will take as long. I was going to say it may take a lifetime, but then that opens a whole lot of other doors I don’t need to look through right now. 

Today, I am recovering from cancer. Mentally, emotionally, physically.