Decision making when you are recovering from cancer really should be banned. Instead of the 100’s of stupid fucking booklets you get when you first go to the hospital, none of which I have ever read, you should get a second card to carry in your wallet. I currently have a yellow ’emergency’ card saying…

No snow, armies, ice or anything else – so today I get chemo! In the hospital now – I come in here (in Amman) and the whole team from the finance guy to the lab all smile and greet me by name. It feels so bloody good. I had wanted to stop at Starbucks on…

You really have to love it. It’s like when I was waiting for the PET-CT scan, fasting, and I got the call saying, ‘sorry, we can’t do the scan today as the army hasn’t brought the radiation’.  Cancer treatment Amman style 🙂 So, it’s cold in Amman – there had been bits of snow on…

We are all awaiting the major snow storm…that is currently showing itself as a lot of rain… Last year there was apparently a lot of snow, where the city closed down, driving was not allowed, people stuck at home, sometimes with no electricity, for 7 days. However, that does not seem to be the case…

Is apparently what I have so far according to the lovely Dr ISIS. So off I went to research it – apparently there are 4 types of responses – can’t remember the exact terms but: Full, complete response is the best -I.e. no sign of the tumour(s) at all. Partial response – tumours have shrunk…

Despite the fact its 2am and I awake combined with the fact I have little or no internet at home (unsure as to whether I’ll be able to post this or not…life’s little adventures…) I am ‘back’. For now at least, and for now is all I have so am good with that! Note –…

Enough of bullshit games being played at work Enough of not feeling good enough Enough crying (unlikely) Enough of chemotherapy Enough of feeling constantly like I am stuck between work, my kids, The Man Enough of feeling heavy, dark and miserable Enough of the drudgery I don’t have the answers, but after another morning of…

I can definitely see my sense of humour receding as per my blog posts these days…I do actually manage to laugh pretty much every day, see the absurd in the every day nonsense, take the piss out of myself and others. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say I am getting worn down by…

That makes it exactly 2 thirds of the way through. One third of the way through Taxol. 8 weeks and 5 days left, give or take. 8 more chemotherapy sessions.  Feels like an enormous achievement. Not sure why at this particular juncture, nonetheless it does. Perhaps because I can see to the other side now…

UK: Go to Marsden – up to the PPMDU (Private Patients Medical Day Unit)  Take my hat off as soon as I enter – very weirdly for a cancer hospital, I am one of the very few people who walk around bald…go figure… Get called in, tell them (3 visits so far) that taking bloods…

For your lovely words and your care. You really are a fantastic bunch of people! On my chemo drip as I type – tired, but a whole lot better. The only way was up really 🙂 More to come later 

Can’t stop crying today. Shit.  Started this morning…and basically hasn’t stopped. Great for the office. The idea of getting out of bed was so terrifying I just sobbed.  At home now, with The Man who had just gone to the shops, I’m still crying. We left the office because I just couldn’t cope.  Feel like…