We are all awaiting the major snow storm…that is currently showing itself as a lot of rain… Last year there was apparently a lot of snow, where the city closed down, driving was not allowed, people stuck at home, sometimes with no electricity, for 7 days. However, that does not seem to be the case this year…so far at least. It’s cold, but more rain than snow at the moment. 

I think taking about the weather on a cancer blog is totally appropriate -I’ll bet you’re all fascinated ;). It does mean I am not sure if I can get my chemo tomorrow as all may be shut…it is quite funny…sorry cancer patient…it’s snowing…just hang on…

Looks like I’ll be here another couple of weeks – the investigation team only arrived yesterday. I’ve been away from the kids for 2 weeks..so it’s going to be a long stretch. The guilt of course kicking in, plus the fact I miss them. I keep thinking these are their best years and I am missing out – which of course is ridiculous since I am hardly disappearing for years. But since July, I have been a whole lot less present for them and with them, even when I am there, and that is difficult. I understand it intellectually – doing the best I can, focus on healing, the end game and not the moment etc etc. Emotionally it’s different. Being with The Man here makes the guilt worse…

The guilt is not all consuming or terrible, logic and reason, for once, do generally win out. Weirdly, the whole work mess may be getting sorted for me personally…not sure yet and things change every second. But I may have an opportunity to maximize on this, tenuous as that is right now given there are so many moving parts. Watch this space.