I am officially two thirds of the way through the Taxol chemo – number 8 under my belt :). Currently looking like a waxwork model of myself – the post chemo yellow look. Not attractive. Feeling all the usual things – exhaustion winning over most currently. 

Dr Aloof was Dr Connected and Engaged today….I immediately worried that I must be dying. No, not really. However, I was genuinely thrown – he was fully connected, cared obviously and in a real way about the stress I’ve been under, recommended a good shrink he knows and was overall great. According to one of the nurses from some weeks ago, this is what he was like all the time before…nice to experience it today. 

We discussed (yes, WE did actually engaged in back and forth dialogue) my treatment plan and it is: surgery about 3 weeks after last chemo then radiation to start a month after that. For roughly 3 weeks. Daily. I had up until this point thought weekly – daily is a LOT! Apparently only about 10 mins each session..will be a lot of travel as it takes at least an hour each way to and from. More importantly though, all going to plan means I will be finished mid May – fantastic!!! 

So I will get my next ultrasound in around a week, see the radiologist in 3 weeks, see the wonderful surgeon soon and hopefully see the shrink. I did feel today the ‘power’ of The Royal Marsden at work and it felt good. The fact it’s an entire team of top specialists is really pretty amazing. And does make me feel very safe and protected – I genuinely don’t believe I could get better overall care in terms of resources, experience, cutting edge studies/treatments etc. Very cool. 

Nearly home now – currently on the bus with The Man – who had been with me all day, not just on the bus. So we at all clear. I am so very, very tired – it will be good to see the shrink as I have no doubt I am clinically depressed to some degree and need some medication to get through the next 3 months. And sleep. Lots.