Yes, definitely a link to all of those. I mentioned February has always been a time for change – not sure if I mentioned that I’m also crap with dates? So, my divorce finally came through this month, my ex mentioned it was almost 10 years to the day we had got married (I genuinely couldn’t remember the date, month or year, but didn’t point this out) which was 17th Feb. Married and divorced the same month. And then just realised, thanks to FB birthday reminders, that it is my first husbands birthday tomorrow, which is also the date we got married. And no, I don’t know the year. 

So, February is definitely significant, apparently, if not by my deliberate design but by events. I am off to the Marsden shortly to have my ultrasound then chemo. The ultrasound I think is the final one to tell me how the chemo has worked by how much the tumours have shrunk. I am ridiculously terrified. I have 3 chemo’s left, and perhaps they do another one at the end – I am not sure – but I know this ultrasound will inform the discussion I have with the surgeon on Tuesday. I can obviously feel they have shrunk, but the scan clearly shows a lot more.

It’s tough right now. The exhaustion is extreme and constant, my mood swings about the same, waiting for the SSRI’s to really kick in, anxiety about whether I have a job/income (should hear in next few days as sick leave over on Sunday), and anxiety re next stage of treatments/results. Perhaps I should get married, given its February: that would take my mind off things.