On a train from The Man’s house heading to London for my last chemo at 12pm! 

Some of the things I will no longer have to do:

• Play ‘hunt the eyelash with the mascara stick’ every morning 
• Carry around at least a litre of coconut water with me at all times
• Wear some make up all the time so I do not look like a cancer ‘victim’
• Look like a strawberry for 2-3 days a week (Taxol facial flush – attractive)
• Fall asleep pretty much anytime I sit down in front of Netflix
• Look like a beached whale. Chemo and SSRI combination is apparently a fluid retention magnet 
• Fart non stop. TMI I know, but for fuck’s sake, it’s insane
• Worry about infections 
• Wander round in a thick fog all the time
• Making weekly visits to the Marsden
• Wondering when I will be ‘back to me’. Well; the new, improved me
• Wear low cut tops for the purpose of nurses being able to access my port for chemo, rather than wanting to look hot. 
• Nose bleeds, bleeding from minor cuts, bruises not fading
• Feeling like a blob. Getting back to feeling like a woman, hopefully reversing some of the aging this seems to have sped up. Although, in my current situation, ageing is an appealing prospect….

I could go on. Surprising I know, given of course how I never do that. 

But it’s bloody fantastic to be coming to the end of this extraordinary, surreal, grueling and life changing 6 months. Can you say life changing about cancer/chemo? Well, I can of course, hopefully it may even make sense.