I wonder how many Friday’s it will take before I stop celebrating the fact I don’t have to go for chemo? Feels bloody good today, as the first of I hope many, many more.

Tired today, but neither yesterday nor today was the haze as thick, more just normal exhaustion. Ha – also wonder how long I will be happier to ‘just’ be exhausted?

Saw Amanda, the wonderful shrink, yesterday. We love Amanda. It’s so good to talk to someone who is fully up to speed about cancer and also who is just so practical. The biggest takeaway from yesterday: if there is any way I can not work for the next few months, then do it. I feel the same way – as she said, my current (relative) stability is good, but very fragile and work would likely be the tipping point for it to crack. I feel that very strongly as well – but then don’t trust much of what I feel so very good to have it spelt out to me. 

How I am going to make all of this work over the next 6 months is utterly beyond me. A real case of trust and belief. A bonus of cancer – completely alters my perspective – before I would have been terrified of the prospect of no income and in a state of fear. Now I am so fucking happy to be alive and most likely cancer free everything else is way down the list.