Stitches and all. Good god, I look like I am preparing to audition for the part of Frankenstein. 

About 4 inches down from my right shoulder, I have a 3 inch suture which is surrounded by yellow/green/blue bruised skin. The entire back of my right hand is pretty much the same colour from the canula for the op and the bloods taken from the same place a few days before. And on the left side, I have a 10in long/ 4in wide brown bandage (kind of like a non stretchy Elastoplast) with bruising peering out from around 3 sides of it. And it’s very lumpy – the swelling underneath it. Let’s also not forget about the blue tit. To top it all, I am still generally swollen, moon faced with a very bloated stomach and exhausted. 

For fuck’s sake. Yes, I get the bigger picture, all good, I should probably be worrying about the results of the surgery rather than my appearance and so on. But fat, blue, swollen, bruised and lethargic really do very, very little for my already fragile ego. Not that I used to go around thinking I was a sex bomb, but I would have days/times where I felt like I looked good and possibly even hot. Ha! Far bloody cry from that now. 

This is all partially tongue in cheek…partially…. I will just get on my feet post surgery and then radiation will start. Assuming of course I don’t need further surgery. It is all a bit like hurdles – I was starting to recover from chemo, had a couple of great energy days last week, then whack, surgery. Will recover from this plus lagging chemo, then radiation. 

Ok – now I am starting to feel like I am moaning. Which actually I am not – my sense of humour remains, I can still laugh at myself (so would you if you could see me!) and I am mostly feeling positive. And swollen. And weird colors.