On my hairline and eyebrows. There is definite stubble on both – I will end up having sliver hair with dark roots and I have no idea how my eyebrows will end up! But for the latter, at first I thought it was stains left from the new eyebrow draw in stuff I’d got (and only used 3 times….the last time I did a great clown impression so gave up for a while) and was very confused. But no, its definitely stubble – which does look like a weird shadow. I also hadn’t realised quite how far my hairline had receded with the sliver, baby hair growth that is there, which by the way, is getting quite long! But it had because there is much darker hair growing back, still like a shadow all around the top of my forehead and temples – my hairline obviously, rather than randomly on my forehead!

I fully appreciate that this is, politely put, an interesting look…..but I am bloody thrilled! I felt like my whole face was blobby, to use the technical term, from the bloating to the paleness due to the white hair and no eyebrows/eyelashes. And while now is a little unusual, or downright strange, I can see that I will soon at least begin to look like me again. The regrowth is most definitely dark, very dark, giving me back some of my original colouring – yipppeeeee!!

I also haven’t taken any painkillers for the last 24 hours, the first time since surgery, and its fine – I’m delighted. Still stiff, sore, twinges, tightness etc etc, but not painful as it was for the past 2 and a half weeks so a definite improvement. I, as of yet have not got to the bottom of why so many lymph nodes were removed, and I get flashes of being very pissed off about it – I discussed at length with the lovely surgeon before surgery about how we would not be doing that and how I would have further surgery if needed. Yes, I know I’ve said that before, but it still gets to me – my body, my choices – and this feels super invasive. I get the bigger picture, the positives as well, but I really dislike feeling disempowered in this way. The wonderful radiotherapist talked about me having had a full axillary clearance: i.e. all the lymph nodes removed. I didn’t get into it with him.

I am torn currently about resuming life ‘as normal’ with some clear modifications around September or buggering off to be a beach bum then for a couple of months. Or years. Wild as it may be for me to consider, there is the possibility of a middle ground….quite an alien concept :-).