Thank fuck!!!

Just watched the entire 15 minutes of this (completely unrelated to anything) and it absolutely made my day! Get so caught up in the darkness of the world at the moment, easy to miss the bright parts.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/scottybryan/get-your-freak-on?utm_term=.uk8yZE4g5#.yeVP1Vr6y

I have slept for the last 2 nights which is amazing – thank you wonderful homeopath. Last night, this morning, was the first time I haven’t woken up in bits, full of emotions about The Man, and it is a welcome relief. What I wrote yesterday really helped me land that piece – the part where we have rowed so much in recent times that this almost felt like another row and we’d carry on. Except we haven’t.

The countdown is really on. 2 weeks today before the little ones and I head off – say goodbye to this house and all of us say goodbye to life as we’ve known it here in the UK for the past 2 years. I am finally starting to feel that – the sadness of my kids going after our Kenyan holiday. Which is also a relief. I was so exhausted and caught up in everything that I hadn’t been able to feel that.

And what amazing timing – we get to say goodbye to life here, and then head of with our family from Kenya back to Kenya :-). And from there to their dad. Apart from an incredible holiday, they get to see in action that we don’t lose our previous lives and friends when we move, we just gain more.

Then its me. Just me. I had originally planned (alone, since he didn’t engage…ffs…where was my head at) to stay on in the UK for a few weeks to spend that time with The Man then head off. Now I am not sure. Ummm, let me qualify, I am sure I won’t be staying with him, but it feels very abrupt to just head off straight away. No idea why really. I am doing this amazing physio work for old injuries and new ones post chemo fucked up joints, and do want to make sure I get that sorted before I go, so considering 2 – 3 weeks when I get back of intensive work on that, then head off…I also need to see when my wonderful friend who is hosting me in Bangkok will be there as he has a 2 week trip to NYC sometime in Sept.

Part of it is I cannot recall, literally, the last time where I just had to worry about what I wanted to do. Ha!