Trump is President. Just posted what I thought on FB, so won’t repeat it here. But holy fuck.

Feels weird writing about me on a day like today….but I will. It’s a thing of mine – appropriate at times…to shut the fuck up when there are bigger things going on. But in my line of work there are always bigger things going on and it was only really with cancer I felt I had the right to talk about me. A little extreme. So, I want to keep the balance of understanding, the bigger picture, perspective. As well as accepting I matter in all that – my FB posts about all my recent madness have been an attempt at that.

I am on a plane heading to BKK. Thank fuck. I am very happy to leave Samui…it’s been a hell of a 6 weeks there. Ended today by me returning the moped I had just hired again on Sunday, for a month, and them refusing to give me any money back. Kind of summed up Samui in terms of the negative energy that seemed to surround me there. Not to say it was all bad – far from it – waking and sleeping to the sound and sight of the sea was incredible. 

The mad, stoned Israeli guy was great. The lesbian and her dog interesting…and draining. The lovely cleaning lady with the fresh aloe vera. The fucking burn, 6 weeks later, that will not heal. The amazing massage woman who has gone a long way towards fixing my shoulder post cancer/operation. 

I’m off to see one of you tonight in BKK and can’t wait!! Wonderful timing – I so need some time with a friend :-). Loving my time alone, but brilliant to have this connection to look forward to. 

A couple of days of paperwork and hassle – new passport application, temporary passport application. The latter requiring lots and lots of papers, booked flights, accommodation confirmation in Thailand, from Cambodia etc etc. 

And that is the plan now. Tuesday to Cambodia – Angkor Wat for 4 days and then a month in a fitness camp in southern Cambodia. I am super excited! I will be more so when I am allowed on the flight and get my temporary passport stamped with a visa when I land in Cambodia – while apparently it’s fine to enter on that, I am somewhat anxious. Then back to Thailand on 17th December to collect my passport, hopefully. 

And then I am not sure. It will depend on how I am feeling. I am meant to go back to the UK on 19th December for Christmas, but I will not go if I don’t have the energy. Because I know it will be exhausting and so far I haven’t really begun to properly unwind. 

In Thailand so far I have:

• Arrived at a house I booked for 3 months that was more appropriate for a mountain goat. Stayed 2 nights. No refund yet, although 2 months refund promised when she gets back end November. 
• Crashed my moped twice
• Spent 6 weeks with wounds of varying degrees
• Been able to go in water, while living by the beach, for a total of 5 days.
• Had shingles (I get it chronically) for a week 
• Infected wounds
• Kidney infection
• Been mugged – more wounds 
• Spent last 2 weeks trying to deal with no money, no cash cards, no passport…and just realised my Beats headphones were in my stolen bag :-(. Realised because I am being forced to listen to piped elevator music on this flight to Bangkok…
• Learned about the sudden death of my close, wonderful friend and colleague in Somalia
• Will spend next 5 days trying to sort out next steps and hoping it will go smoothly.

So – I am not convinced that in 5 weeks or so I will be fully rested and able to take the trip back to the UK without it setting me back to the start again. While missing the kids and feeling guilty. Back to the easier to do for others than for yourself. 

Weirdly, I am on many levels doing really well. Go figure. 

Pre mugging I had started writing for my book – and that is brilliant. Will continue in Cambodia. If I get in.