I am clearly now an expert since I have been here 4 days. Currently at the airport about to board my flight from Siem Reap to Sihanoukville. Which seems to be referred to as Sihanouk by Cambodians – let’s get rid of the French is all senses is,  I imagine, the thinking behind that.  

The obligatory older, unattractive man with his young Cambodian partner is here. And two children – I am not even sure they are hers or his – the youngest one is around 4 or 5 and she may possibly have special needs of some sort. Her behaviour is quite wild, feral almost, which from the little I have seen here and in Thailand seems unusual. But of course I really have no idea. To the man’s credit, he is being extremely good with her. My mind went to child abuse given how prevelant the child sex trade is here,  but I don’t actually pick any of that up. 

2 months tomorrow since I left London. I still see myself returning there, which I like, although of course who knows. Yesterday and today were the first times I got flashes of this being a real break, it’s not a holiday that is going to end soon with me still exhausted, stressed and so on. And that feels so very fucking good. Because it’s only now that I am not suffering that crippling exhaustion constantly – I actually get breaks from it and fuck that feels good. 

4 weeks now at the fitness camp. I really, really look forward to getting fit again. To feeling good about my body, getting strong. I am hoping this will be a turning point in my trip and in my recovery – it currently feels like it will be. 

Oh – we are preparing for landing. 20 mins after we took off!! Clearly I got the flight time wrong – I thought it was 75 mins. Yipppppeeee :-).