This afternoon. And an ultrasound – and back to the rooms where I heard good and bad news – its not where I was diagnosed initially, and I am pleased about that. That was in the stupid Homerton hospital – never bloody going back there!

I will ask them today to not tell me anything until I see the wonderful surgeon. There was that time the stupid ultrasound doc gave me the news that nothing was improving when it wasn’t actually meant to be improving by that point….lessons learned and all that…

At least I do know the system this time – albeit I have never had a mammogram at the Marsden. But I know that I will be seeing the wonderful surgeon after, so even if bad news I know I can cry with her, that we get on and so forth. That makes a big difference. And I have my homeopath on standby for after – whether I get the all clear or not.

My left boob is so hard post radiation, I wouldn’t be able to feel for lumps – and I hate to say it, but I haven’t checked my right that much either. Actually, thats not really true – I check it all the time, but not consciously if that makes any sense. I grab my boobs and am aware of them to worrying degrees – fortunately I have stopped what could be perceived as fondling them in public since I finished treatment. But I am still hyper aware of them all the time – the difference is that the general public is less so these days 😉

The good thing with these checks is that it would be caught early. Nah, fuck it, thats not good – I don’t want to have cancer, early or otherwise.