Today. Or perhaps it’s cumulative. Whatever it is, I am just absolutely exhausted – that horrible core level tired on every level. Awful as it may sound, being with the kids is completely draining. Just spent 2 days with them and The Man – a first – in his place. We’ve been trying to do…

And she is lovely. Perfect. Recommended by Prof Aloof…so for all his disconnect, he actually gets me as he was spot on about her. In short, the ‘pit’ I fall into is severe anxiety attacks – more than depression. Although she, like me, doesn’t do labels but was just finding terms to explain. When I…

I just enjoyed Alvin and the Chipmunks Road Chip movie. Really.  I can only blame chemo, steroids and diminished mental status.  Perhaps worth mentioning that I did bring the kids – I didn’t just go myself or on a date to see it. 

I am officially two thirds of the way through the Taxol chemo – number 8 under my belt :). Currently looking like a waxwork model of myself – the post chemo yellow look. Not attractive. Feeling all the usual things – exhaustion winning over most currently.  Dr Aloof was Dr Connected and Engaged today….I immediately…

Bloody hell its good to be home. If not a little surreal: off the plane, drop my bags at home, straight to Yannis’ school play. Moses. From Islam to Judaism,  Hebrew songs included.  The journey home was hellish – The Man and I managed to row from when we left the house until one hour…

No, I am not trying to remind you all of the date – just that I only realised today what date it is. 6 years ago on this date I started with Save the Children in Somalia – my first job with a major NGO in East Africa (or, in fact, the entire continent of…

Just agreed with one of you wonderful people that we will find a place that provides the above to celebrate the end of my cancer treatment – and cure of course! Lots of retreats that offer meditation, mindfulness, lectures on how to stay healthy post cancer. Fuck that. Interestingly, haven’t found one yet that offers…

In order to reconstruct. Something I am intimately familiar with. Luckily I never became an architect since there is something clearly flawed with the way I often construct things. Demonstrated by the present need for collapse and re-build – would be more than a little problematic if it were actual buildings with people in them that…

Very nearly out of here… Felt like I spent most of yesterday in the office crying…so not like me, obviously! Would be pretty worrying if it were really…It really got to me…another obvious statement… The Man has been let go – targeted more like – so obviously its a rough ride for us both. Honestly…

Amazing. I started off the day crying at 2am, had a truly horrible morning at work, and ending the day with chemotherapy, nurses and cake! Had to have pictures of course 🙂 Sadly, Dr ISIS not here so not in the pic, but the lovely oncology nurse Fadwa is the one sitting on my bed…

Chemo day – that will be number 11 of the overall and number 7 of the 12 Taxol. Yipppeeeee!! And things have got so bad at work I am genuinely looking forward to chemo today. I get to leave early, hang out with the lovely Fadwa (and The Man of course), get mildly stoned, come…

Thank you all for sending your e-mail addresses – I had meant to do this ages ago and never got round to it. Given the madness in work, it is very timely. In short, its toxic – I’ve been writing about it on and off, but its now reached a peak of sheer horribleness. A…