Arrived Friday night, had an amazing 24 hours, didn’t go into the office today (Sun – Thurs working week here) and just found out that its a Bank Holiday tomorrow – yippppeeeee!!!

But I did lose the plot this morning…early hours and on into the start of the day. The Man has had a flu/cough for the past 3 weeks, which has been a touchy subject for a whole host of reasons, he felt he was over it for the past 3 or 4 days. Then last night, he had a coughing fit around 1am…woke me up and it went downhill from there….Back on track now.

What have I learned? Bring an Uzi with me next time. Oh, no, we’re in gentle, healing, learning space…well, more to the point, I am. Supposedly.

Slightly more seriously…I have learned again that chemo is inducing a form of depression, that actually its not OK for me to slip and stay in a dark place almost every time I see TM, that I have a side to me which only comes out with men (not the postman, male bus driver etc, to qualify) that is not pleasant. And I need to get a grip.

Yes – I have cancer, the chemo journey is hellish,  but I also need and want a life and relationships that aren’t just about my cancer – at least so I keep professing, so time to walk the walk. I want positivity, lightness, fun, encouragement around me – so I need to start also exuding that. No, I’m not perfect, nor will I be Mary Poppins singing around the place, but I know myself well enough to know I need to shift perspective.