So one hour after my last post, I came down with what I think is a flu or something. I had a portocath put in on Thursday (deliberately didn’t write about it in my last post as it was a really horrible experience and didn’t want to focus on it) and I think coincidentally came down with a bug.
The portocath was horrible – they tried to get it in the jugular vein and failed, then put it in the sub clavicle vein and nicked the bone which hurts like fuck. It went on for an hour, not 30 mins, and was truly awful. Still pretty sore, feels like an elephant has sat on my right shoulder and chest, stabbing pains, bruising, weird breathing.
The flu or whatever it is…yesterday I literally couldn’t get out of bed. And I was meant to be flying home for Aissa’s birthday – I couldn’t even speak to her I was so weak.
I’ve been crying for the best part of the last 2 days – a row with The Man this morning didn’t help. He’s been amazing – and this morning cracked a bit. And because I am so weak in every sense I lost it, he lost it and…
I can’t do this – physically or mentally. I will see the shrink on 21st and definitely get anti depressants.
Walk with me 
Sonz, if you do indeed go down the route of anti-depressants, may I make a heartfelt suggestion? Will you ask to go on Effexor XL? They are the most gentle, beautiful and effective drug. I’ve been treated with them myself and recommended them for Dad (early Alzheimers) and in each case they have been so effective. Used for both anxiety and depression. I highly recommend xxx
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Thanks Shiv – so very good to get that recommendation. And so sorry about your dad – huge hugs to him xxxxx
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He’s doing really well, Trout. The meds he’s on are doing him the power of good, all well at the moment. x
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So please to hear that – send him and Therese my love x
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Oh darling. No words. Nothing but love. xxx
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Jesus. That sounds horrific. Take anything that helps you get through this. Huge love, hugs and more love and hugs.
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Exactly: whatever it takes to get you through this, take it. It is not for ever, but even 2 weeks of this is hell
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