Currently about 15 mins away from landing back in London – so you can safely deduce I am well enough to fly now. Can’t wait to see my children, big and small – combined with a feeling I am getting used to each time I leave a country these days. Missing someone – this time The Man, other times the kids. This time however is particularly soppy since The Man is coming back to the UK for 2 weeks and I will see him Thursday or Friday!

Yesterday was a good day – a really good day. I was awake most of the previous night, processing a whole ton of stuff and two major things landed for me. Having cancer has knocked my self confidence to pieces – I don’t know myself half the time, I look weird, my emotional reactions are erratic (yes, an understatement) and I don’t know sometimes hour by hour who I am or how I will react. So, one of the things that landed was that I am pretty amazing :). It came out with The Man in terms of what I bring to our relationship – some things specifically which I won’t get into here as private to him, but it felt so good for me to name them. Remembering that I am me – I am compassionate, caring, and can kick ass when I need to :). The other was about an aspect of me which has remained hidden for pretty much most of my life and it’s now coming out – how amazing to be 49 and discover something so new about yourself! 

And then I worked like mad all day – and I so needed that. I was buzzing by the evening, felt strong and positive. Then on a plane today – after 654 trips to and from Amman since July (no exaggeration of course) on BA, I am now on Royal Jordanian and it is 100 times better!!! Nothing like coming to the party late…

Acupuncture tomorrow, new Taxol chemo on Friday, kids leave for Ireland Sunday, Marsden shrink Monday, up to The Man’s place Tuesday for our week’s holiday at home together. Hoping I can put off 2nd chemo until 10 days after 1st – get it back to Tuesday’s again. I don’t plan on having chemo on Christmas and New Year’s Day! 

Thank you my friends for walking this with me. I am so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing support network. And you are all as barking as (the non chemo) me 🙂 xxxx