Fuck, that feels so good to write. 

The hangover/haze was super strong yesterday, slight steroid buzz today so likely flattened tomorrow. But for the last time. (Always feel a little superstitious writing ‘last chemo’ – but I mean it in the context of this treatment. Hopefully of course forever, but not going to tempt fate!)

I’ve even had a few waves of positivity today – clearly getting very carried away. 

It’s funny, I finally feel like I can complain like fuck about the chemo side effects because I have finished. I absolutely could not allow myself to get into how shit they were before because it would just make the prospect of 6 months of them too hellish to bear. And bloody hell, they are rough. Taxol nothing like the EC, but the constant feeling like crap in 100 different ways combined with complete exhaustion is a nightmare. 

Someone wrote on a breast cancer blog about the 2 types of chemo (using different terms for EC, but basically the same treatment): But Taxol is still very challenging. The difference for me has been during Adriamycin and Cytoxan, I felt like I wanted to die. During Taxol, I feel like I am starting to come back to life and want to live. That is a HUGE difference. So very true.

Come Thursday, I will start to feel better as I do each week. And then on Friday I will not have to do chemo so I can keep feeling better – amazing!!!