And now on the plane from Geneva back to London. For 2 hours and then the next plane to Kenya! Yes. London to Geneva on Monday, then Geneva, London, Nairobi today…who said I complicate things….
On the plane with 2 of you – you being my 2 friends who are my family of choice :). Kind of weird writing while we are all on the same plane! All 8 of us – as the BA woman said, clearly we are a group tour.
I feel old today. The cancer and its treatment has taken its toll, not least because I haven’t yet had a chance to actually recuperate. We had to get up early to catch this flight and its 10 times harder than before, I ache, parts of my body really hurt, are stiff, feel weak. I’m shattered tired. And emotional…
All is good, amazingly good, it’s just these reminders that I am a lot weaker than I think – physically and emotionally.
The movers are coming today to take the kids stuff to Ireland and the things I am keeping into storage. Then they come back on 15th to move Hayley and her stuff as well as my 4 cases which I need to sort out before I go.
Thanks to some more of you, I have found my haven in Thailand. A beautiful, beautiful house on Koh Samui which is surrounded by trees and nature, is used as a place of healing and I literally cried when I saw the pictures. It’s exactly the right place for me. And at an incredibly reasonable price.
The lovely owner, who is a friend of a friend, is helping me find the right places to eat/detox/hire a moped/get massages/get fit. How incredible is that?!
I can’t wait to detox and get healthy. And rest. I’ve done it. I’ve survived cancer and made damn sure I learnt all it had to teach me and managed to to put those learnings into action. Holy fuck it’s been one hell of a rollercoaster, but I’m coming closer to the smooth ride every day.
Walk with me 
That might just be the nicest sentences (and posts) I have ever read. You are inspirational and your kids(and the rest of us!) are so lucky to have you to see how to to put the learning into action and not just moan on about it waiting for someone else to sort our shit out.
You have articulated the seasons of pain on this journey of yours and there are probably many more highs and lows to come, but you sound so strong and describe your outlook with such clarity and presence, the next part of this journey will be amazing. Best get on with your book now Dear before you get distracted by the needs of stray dogs or needy abandoned sea urchins in Koh Samui!!!!!
Khalil Gibran ‘On Pain’
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
LikeLiked by 1 person